Having just enjoyed Matthew McConaughey in Guy
Ritchie's hugely entertaining gangsters-in-London caper film "The
Gentlemen" - I fancied some more cool Matt. What a mistake.
"The Beach Bum" has to be the worst
piece of indulgent crap I've ever seen and there's nearly three hours of it. I
kept waiting for some big revelation in Moondog's life (the lazy Beach Bum in
the title) - some reason for this feast of over-the-top acting and bumbling
stupidity - but it never comes.
For sure there is great casting in-between the
hijinks - Isla Fisher as his rich but equally flaky coke-snorting wife, Zac
Efron as an addict with violence and pyromania issues and Jonah Hill as his
permanently drawling agent constantly begging for that next book masterpiece
that never seems to come. But "The Beach Bum" just goes on and on as
he gets drunk and stoned and drunk and stoned - reeking havoc on everyone's
life - never taking responsibility for anything and partaking in a long line of
bikini babes who conveniently never question his slob ways and appear to be
utterly brainless (none would give a degenerate tosser like this the time of
day in the real world).
The absence of reality in this ludicrous film
about endless skunk joints and beer tins is impossible to swallow, the story
takes hard-to-believe turns too without ever once addressing any kind of truth
- and most of all - the horrors that drunks and drug burn-outs wreak on
families in the real world is played like its all some cosmic laugh or even
wisdom on seeing life as a chill-man. It tries at times to be "Wolf Of
Wall Street" but most his crudities are not funny - just dumb and
obnoxious.
Matthew McConaughey goes for it in this film,
but like "Gold", he sucks the life out of every scene and really is insufferable
when he does crazy for the whole of the movie. For nearly three hours – the film is essentially
asking us to like or even admire a dickhead. And in the end, not only is
Moondog's life one big waste of time - but this film takes away a huge chunk your
precious time too as you suffer through this pretentious wank-fest masquerading
as some sort of take-life-by-the-balls morality tale.
A piece of garbage best avoided and a very real
reason as to why Hollywood is in such trouble with its inability to tell
A-listers to fuck off and overact someplace else...
