Amazon Music Bestsellers and Deals

Saturday, 14 December 2013

"Gorilla" by JAMES TAYLOR - May 1975 LP on Warner Brothers Records (2010 JAPAN-Only Warner Brothers SHM-CD Reissue (Isao Kikuchi Remaster) in 5" Mini LP Repro Artwork) - A Review by Mark Barry...


<iframe style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=GB&source=ss&ref=as_ss_li_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=mabasreofcdbl-21&language=en_GB&marketplace=amazon&region=GB&placement=B00004Y6O1&asins=B00004Y6O1&linkId=77a8e853d434ff590d2996ad28f16fbb&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true"></iframe>

This Review and 204 More Like It Are Available In My
Amazon e-Book 

CAPT. FANTASTIC - 1975

Your All-Genres Guide To
Exceptional CD Reissues & Remasters 
All Reviews From The Discs Themselves 
(No Cut And Paste Crap) 

<iframe style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-eu.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=GB&source=ss&ref=as_ss_li_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=mabasreofcdbl-21&language=en_GB&marketplace=amazon&region=GB&placement=B08RDVQJXV&asins=B08RDVQJXV&linkId=e28b896c81e7bebf30e2101a666e021f&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true"></iframe>

"…It Don't Look Like I'll Ever Stop My Wandering…"

Fans of JT will know that only 2-tracks from "Gorilla" are available as remasters – "Mexico" and the cover of Marvin Gaye's 1964 Motown hit "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" (done by Taylor as a duet with Carly Simon) – both of them on the Warners Brothers/Rhino 'Best Of' compilation "You've Got A Friend" from 2003. And sweet they sound too…

But this Japan-only SHM-CD released 7 April 2010 on Warner Brothers WPCD-13823 (Barcode 4943674097364) is the first time the entire "Gorilla" album has been remastered since its release on a dull-sounding US/European CD in the mid Eighties - and the audio quality on this CD reissue is TRULY BEAUTIFUL.

1. Mexico
2. Music
3. How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)
4. Wandering
5. Gorilla
6. You Make It Easy
7. I Was A Fool To Care [Side 2]
8. Lighthouse
9. Angry Blues
10. Love Songs
11. Sarah Maria

Part of a 6-album campaign (see list below) - this 2010 remaster was done by ISAO KIKUCHI in Japan - a non-numbered limited edition on the SHM-CD format (11 tracks, 39:02 minutes). Super High Materials CDs do not require a specific machine to play them on – they’re simply a better form of disc created by JVC in 2008 to improve on the original format (unchanged since it was first put out 30 years ago). The general idea is that the sound on the SHM-CD is more defined as they play - they seem to extract more nuances from the transfer - and of the 10 or so that I own – I've found this to be true.

The 5” mini repro packaging here apes the May 1975 USA vinyl LP release on Warner Brothers BS 2866 (it was K 56137 in the UK) with its single card sleeve (lyrics and recording details on the rear). The outer resealable bag it has to be said is very flimsy, so extracting and replacing the sleeve has to be done carefully lest you rip it. The 12-page plain white booklet is very ho-hum too – just the lyrics and an essay in Japanese that you can’t read. No pictures – nothing new. At least the rounded white paper inner bag has one of those protective poly-slips inside it to protect the CD. The disc itself repro’s the Warner Brothers Burbank Trees label of the original vinyl album too – a nice touch. It’s tastefully done as always with these releases. But it’s all about the sound here…

Right from the opening bars of "Mexico” the clarity is incredible - you can suddenly hear all the instruments. But then you get hit with a gem - his second cover on the album - the traditional “Wandering” - a lovely acoustic ditty with plaintive accordion and doubled vocals backing it up. It sounds incredible and for me has always been a highlight on this forgotten album. A song like “Wandering” is one of the reasons why Taylor is so admired - when he gets a melody down - its almost feels effortless and is peaceful on the mind (lyrics from the song title this review).

The album featured a huge array of talented musicians - Lowell George of Little Feat, Randy Newman on Keyboards and David Sanborn on Saxophone with quality backing vocals from David Crosby, Graham Nash, Linda Ronstadt and Carly Simon. Among the self-penned songs are the lovely “You Make It Easy” and the Stephen Bishop “Careless” feel of “I Was A Fool To Care”. I love the slightly funky “Angry Blues” (with Lowell George’s trademark slide guitar so cleverly used) and the flute opening of “Love Songs” now sounds wonderful. It’s back again to simplicity and romance for the album finisher “Sarah Maria” - again sounding just fab. 

Downsides – it's Japanese only, a limited edition and a little expensive. And the booklet could have done with some more pizzazz instead of the rather safe presentation it did get.

Even with punk and new wave quite rightly snapping at Rock’s bloated ass and ego - the November 2013 issue of Britain’s RECORD COLLECTOR magazine ran an article arguing that albums from 1975 were among the best ever released in the Rock genre. Not surprisingly there was Led Zep’s “Physical Graffiti”, Dylan’s “Blood On The Tracks”, Joni’s “The Hissing of Summer Lawns”. Dr. Feelgood’s “Down By The Jetty”, Jeff Beck’s “Blow By Blow” and Elton’s “Captain Fantastic” and so on. But no mention of James Taylor’s soppily romantic “Gorilla”?

Well I’d argue that its time to add this lovely album to that list...and if you’ve any love for the record and Seventies singer-songwriters in general - get "Gorilla" on this fabulous SHM-CD format if you can.

PS: the albums remastered in Japan in this April 2010 series are:
1. Sweet Baby James (March 1970) on Warner Brothers WPCR-13819
2. Mud Slide Slim And The Blue Horizon (July 1971) on Warner Brothers WPCR-13820
3. One Man Dog (November 1972) on Warner Brothers WPCR-13821
4. Walking Man (July 1974) on Warner Brothers WPCR-13822
5. Gorilla (May 1975) on Warner Brothers WPCR-13823
6. In The Pocket (June 1976) on Warner Brothers WPCR-13824

See also my review for 1971's "Mud Slide Slim And The Blue Horizon" and the Audio Fidelity 24-KT Audiophile Reissue of "One Man Dog" - Remaster by Steve Hoffman...

"Dire Straits" by DIRE STRAITS (September 2013 Universal/Vertigo JAPAN-ONLY PLATINUM SHM-CD in Mini LP Repro Artwork and Collector's Box) - A Review by Mark Barry...








"…Water To Be Found…" 

Dire Straits by DIRE STRAITS (2013 Japan-Only Platinum SHM-CD Remaster)

What with Blu Spec 2, Blu Ray Audio and SHM - it's hard to know your formats anymore (I remember when Quadrophonic LPs bothered my Garrard). Well here comes another format to replace the 30-year old basic CD - the PLATINUM SHM-CD as championed by Universal in Japan. And they might actually have something this time to genuinely rave about because this disc has beautiful sound quality (if not a little too clinically clean for some ears). Here are the gory digital/technical details...

The debut vinyl album was originally issued in the UK on Vertigo 9102 021 in June 1978 with a CD remaster in June 1996 and a further Japan-Only remaster onto SHM-CD in 2010. This Platinum SHM-CD version of "Dire Straits" by DIRE STRAITS was released 25 September 2013 in Japan on Universal/Vertigo UICY-40008 (Barcode 4988005782182). It's listed as up for deletion in April 2014.

PETER MATTHEWS did the Tape Research while RICHARD WHITTAKER carried out the DSD flat transfer in 2013 from original UK master tapes at FX Copyroom Studios in London. MANABU MATSUMURA then edited this into DSD after which YUMETOKI SUZUKI transferred that at Universal's Studios in Tokyo (176 4kHZ/24bit). The disc is a HR cut (High Resolution) and comes in an outer presentation box that has the album's artwork and a full box-sized wraparound Obi strip. Inside the box is a 5" card repro of the album artwork (itself with an Obi) with the album's original inner lyric sleeve.

The 16-page booklet is the usual plain white Japanese affair with liner notes in Japanese and the lyrics in English with some mastering details. The CD itself as you see from the photo is a garish almost blue-ice colour kept in a gauze sleeve (a list of other titles in this series is below). The repro is beautifully done - even down to the texture of the sleeve and inner bag. Their Japanese price is 3800 yen so they're not cheap - about £26 to £30 depending on exchange rates. Even though they won't fit on a conventional CD shelf, aesthetically you'd have to say that these 'mini box sets' are a very sweet thing to look at indeed - luxurious even (I've uploaded photos above) and concentrating at the moment on hugely collectable titles and classic rock bands. 

I owned the 2010 SHM-CD of "Dire Straits" which has fabulous sound quality - but I'd have to say that this 2013 version is better with incredibly clean sound - the rhythm section particularly pronounced on almost every track to a clarity that its never had before.

1. Down To The Waterline [Side 1]
2. Water Of Love
3. Setting Me Up
4. Six Blade Knife
5. Southbound Again
6. Sultans Of Swing [Side 2]
7. In the Gallery
8. Wild West End
9. Lions

The opening misty horn on "Down To The Waterline" is eerie and when the track hits 2:50 minutes you'd swear the bass and drums are going to kick your speakers in. There is the hiss that was there before but its not so pronounced that it would detract. Then you get the first of two slices of audio and musical heaven - "Water Of Love" is the first - the other is "Wild West End" (lyrics from it title this review). You can hear the squeaking of Dobro strings and the rhythm guitar is definitely more pronounced on "Water" and the steel guitar on "Wild West End" is simply glorious. What a beautiful song it is - and here it finally gets the sonic muscle and clarity its always deserved. 

Again on the slick "Six Blade Knife" (such a great track) - the rhythm section of bass and drums seem suddenly alive. I always thought it was my vinyl album that made "Southbound Again" so gruff (being at the end of Side 1) - but here its even gruffer - so it was on the tapes all along. The big hit "Sultans Of Swing" sounds amazing - as does the left-side rhythm guitar on the slinky "In The Gallery" (another album highlight). My only real criticism is that at times I found it all a little 'too' clinically clean and even restrained in places. I had to give some tracks a bit of welly on my Marantz CD and Amp combo and when I did - wow!

Having said that - I suspect that you will not need high-end gear to hear the very real difference here - quality all the way. And like many – I’ve overlooked this album in place of its more famous successors ‘Love Over Gold’ and ‘Brothers In Arms’. I’d genuinely forgotten how utterly brilliant the Dire Straits debut album was and still is...and this gorgeous version of it brings that out. A must own if you’re a fan...

So to sum up - it's a must own if you're a fan of this superb debut album. Part of me hates this because now they've got me thinking I need "Sticky Fingers", "What's Going On", "Who's Next", "Every Picture Tells A Story"...the list goes on (most remastered in 2013 for this format). As you can see from the list below, Platinum SHM-CD reissues are already gathering pace.

My bank manager will be pleased...

For info purposes, some titles released in Japan on the 
PLATINUM SHM-CD format:

At Fillmore East - THE ALLMAN BROTHERS (25 Sep 2013, 2013 remaster from US tapes)
Asia - ASIA (30 Oct 2013)
Blind Faith - BLIND FAITH (30 Oct 2013)
Doc At Radar Station - CAPTAIN BEEFHEART (27 May 2015)
Ice Cream For Crow - CAPTAIN BEEFHEART (27 May 2015)
Singles 1969-1973 - THE CARPENTERS (due 26 Mar 2014)
A Love Supreme - JOHN COLTRANE (27 Nov 2013)
Ballads - JOHN COLTRANE (27 Nov 2013)
Disraeli Gears - CREAM (1 disc, Mono & Stereo Mixes + 6 Bonus, 27 Nov 2013)
Fresh Cream - CREAM (2 disc set, Mono & Stereo mixes + 12 bonus, 18 Dec 2013)
Wheels Of Fire - CREAM (2 disc set + 4 bonus tracks, 18 Dec 2013)
Relaxin’ With The Miles Davis Quintet - MILES DAVIS (30 Oct 2013)
Layla... - DEREK & THE DOMINOES (25 Sep 2013, 2013 remaster from US tapes)
Dire Straits - DIRE STRAITS (24 Sep 2013)
Love Over Gold - DIRE STRAITS (27 Nov 2013)
Communiqué - DIRE STRAITS (27 August 2014)
Brothers In Arms - DIRE STRAITS (23 April 2014)
Pictures At An Exhibition - EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER (23 April 2014)
Waltz For Debby - BILL EVANS (30 Oct 2013)
Let's Stick Together - BRYAN FERRY (29 April 2015)
Boys & Girls - BRYAN FERRY (29 April 2015)
Ella and Louis - ELLA FITZGERALD and LOUIS ARMSTRONG (27 Nov 2013)
What’s Going On - MARVIN GAYE (25 Sep 2013 plus 6 bonus tracks)
The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway - GENESIS (27 November 2014)
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - ELTON JOHN (2 disc set, 27 Nov 2013)
The Look Of Love - DIANA KRALL (27 Nov 2013)
Imagine - JOHN LENNON (3 December 2014)
Carmen Fantasie - ANNE-SOPHIE MUTTER (27 Nov 2013)
Tubular Bells - MIKE OLDFIELD (Plus 2 Bonus Tracks, 30 Oct 2013)
Meets The Rhythm Section - ART PEPPER (30 Oct 2013)
We Get Requests - OSCAR PETERSON (27 Nov 2013)
Regatta De Blanc - THE POLICE (27 Nov 2013)
Synchronicity - THE POLICE (18 Dec 2013 with “Murder By Numbers” bonus track)
Queen 2 - QUEEN (18 Dec 2013)
A Night At The Opera - QUEEN (25 Sep 2013)
News Of The World - QUEEN (30 Oct 2013)
Difficult To Care - RAINBOW (18 Dec 2013)
Saxophone Colossus - SONNY ROLLINS (30 Oct 2013)
Sticky Fingers - THE ROLLING STONES (30 Oct 2013)
Exile On Main St. - THE ROLLING STONES (25 Sep 2013, 2LP set on 1CD)
Goat’s Head Soup - THE ROLLING STONES (27 Nov 2013)
It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll - THE ROLLING STONES (18 Dec 2013)
Black And Blue - THE ROLLING STONES (27 Nov 2013)
Love You Live - THE ROLLING STONES (2 disc set, 18 Dec 2013)
Some Girls - THE ROLLING STONES (30 Oct 2013)
Tattoo You - THE ROLLING STONES (25 Sep 2013)
Avalon - ROXY MUSIC (28 Jan 2015)
Never Mind The Bollocks... - SEX PISTOLS (12-track version, 2013 remaster, 27 Nov 2013)
The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle - SEX PISTOLS (18 Dec 2013)
Aja - STEELY DAN (25 Sep 2013)
Gaucho - STEELY DAN (30 Oct 2013)
Every Picture Tells A Story - ROD STEWART (27 Nov 2013)
Breakfast In America - SUPERTRAMP (27 Nov 2013)
Phaedra - TANGERINE DREAM (25 February 2015)
The Original Soundtrack - 10cc (Plus 4 Bonus Tracks, 30 Oct 2013)
Tommy - THE WHO (27 August 2014)
Who’s Next - THE WHO (25 Sep 2013 - no bonus tracks - 2010 remaster)
Quadrophenia - THE WHO (2 disc set, 18 Dec 2013)
Argus - WISHBONE ASH (Plus 4 Bonus Tracks, 30 Oct 2013)
Talking Book - STEVIE WONDER (25 Sep 2013)
Innervisions - STEVIE WONDER (30 Oct 2013)
Fulfillingness First Finale - STEVIE WONDER (27 Nov 2013)
Songs In The Key Of Life - STEVIE WONDER (2 disc set, 18 Dec 2013)

Sunday, 8 December 2013

"MY BROKEN HEART (75 Days In The NHS)" by MARK BARRY - A Book Of 75 Rhyming Verses Now Available As A PAPERBACK and DOWNLOAD ON AMAZON...NHS 75th Anniversary...





MY BROKEN HEART (75 Days In The NHS)
 
75th Anniversary of the NHS (2023)

This is a direct link to the download on Amazon UK
(it can be downloaded to most PCs and devices - the Kindle software is free)
Paperback Version is £9.95
 
Here are the gory details... 

“My Broken Heart (75 Days In The NHS)” is a series of 75 rhyming verses (one poem for each day) accompanied by photographs of a unique experience I don’t recommend you emulate (a heart attack with a right-sided carotid artery complication).

I was 54 when it happened. Despite a serious cycling regime to and from the West End of London (over 100 miles a week) - a history of ischemic heart disease on my Mum’s side and a lifetime of cream-cakes, greasy chips and chewy snacks in cinemas on my side - had finally caught up with literally over-sized Dubliner’s ticker. Angina blocked arteries led to a stroke which required a full-on open heart quadruple bypass operation. To add serious insult to a life-threatening injury - I’d also been diagnosed with a dissected and carotid artery in early November 2012 (bulging vein on your head, neck spasms) which would take 3 months to heal. So even though I got into the British Cardiovascular repair system on 28 Nov 2012 - I had to wait until 5 February 2013 for the actual operation - 70 days of physical pain and mental torture leading up to 5 more days of post-op agony (and many more months recovering). It was doubly cruel because my Angina was continuing to deteriorate and hurt on a daily and nightly basis. So my stay in two British hospitals (Whipps Cross in East London and St. Barts in the City of London) became a marathon and something of an emotional nightmare. 

The average sinner will spend only 6 or 7 days in the Cardio Ward of a British hospital so they don’t really get any time to dwell on the brutality of what’s about to happen to them (a nurse actually told me the less knowledge you have the better). In truth I had far too much time on my hands and far too many mental demons to deal with and dissipate. Mistakes made - unfulfilled promise - putting my family under the cosh at this late stage in my life - the money problems I'd leave behind. But - and I mean this - the whole experience was also oddly cathartic - joyful even - and strangely releasing in ways. A lot of love pours down on you when your life’s in danger - people come out of the woodwork. The chatty side-stepping stops and they tell you to your face that they really do like you - and don’t die you careless stupid fucker. My dedications page (as you can imagine) is very long. 

I kept notes on a daily basis - experiencing great British characters, unintentionally witty moments, low and high points and even epiphanies. Over the duration you're subjected to MRI scans, Endo-Cardiogram checks, ECG monitors, CTI scans, cannulas in your veins, electrodes on your chest, constipation, suppositories up your bum, catheters up your willy, the decibels of non-stop monitors, squirts of liquid morphine, sprays of Glyceryl Trinitrate and an industrial-sized Barber's Shaver on your legs. And this is before the operation. 

The pictures are almost all mine and are from the real world and wards. Bryan Taylor is real (RIP) - the singing Jamaican porter - Ali the helpful orderly - the fantastic nurses and doctors - the unkillable Geordie - the opportunistic Jewish Mum - the ultra-efficient German ambulance crew who kept getting lost - church bells chiming on the hour like a beacon of hope on dreary days...all real. Long-term hospital is like this - full of frights and nut-jobs and jaunts to machines in wheelchairs and drugs and blood tests and urine and endless bug killer gel on your hands and cold toilet seats and professionalism generally saving your life. But mostly it’s about mental will - the sheer bloodymindedness you need to live - to see it through - to rejoin your family and savour that second chance sublime. 

And besides - you have to admire a man who rhymes Altoids with Haemorrhoids.
And his consistent use of the word fuck as an adjective.
All in all money well spent by the nutty British and The National Health Service on a dodgy Catholic immigrant. (The Daily Mail will be pleased).

Enjoy - I know I didn't.

AVAILABLE in PAPERBACK on AMAZON 
 

 

Here are 5 examples with their photos...

                           NURSES

Nurse Margaret places my patch in the morning
Alternating between each shoulder blade - 
Deponit 5 gives me daytime relief from Angina
Clearing out tubes not making the grade - 


Nurse Oni hauls laundry off the InvaCare Mattress   
Then swishes with a Clinell Sanitising wipe -
She then folds a flap into the end of my linen sheet 
So my feet don’t slip out or get cold at night - 



















Nurse Zara administers my nightly stomach injection
It leaves a line of bruises below the waist -
But she raises a ridge of skin so the stabbing pain
Is kept to a minimum and evenly displaced - 















Nurse Morris gets me an extra blanket at ten p.m. 
Because these crittall windows let in cold -
Sister Frances visits to see if I’m mentally coping   
Leaves me leaflets so my resolve will hold -

Given cigarettes to calm his nerves in World War II
Old English Bill is a still a Hampstead gent -
Nurse Rajani helps him through a racking coughing fit
Fluffing his pillows after an exhausting vent -

Another Nurse drops off a tea and two custard creams  
To diabetic Sid whose feeling lonely and glum - 
Nurses - I watch their everyday dedication and constancy 
And am completely...and humbly...overcome...


               STUFF and NONSENSE

My generation has some God-awful clothing     
Fashion crimes we’ve used and abused -
Tucked away in our cabinets is an Afghan coat   
Sat on top of two scuffed-up Jesus shoes -

We scatter talcum Powder in battered slippers 
Keeping the pong of stinky feet at bay - 
We wear body-length robes in fetching colours  
Pocket those bugger-filled tissues away -

Richard huffs at the plot of “The Da Vinci Code” 
Edward constantly twirls his wedding ring -
Raj looks at photos of his children on his mobile  
And smiles when their ring-tones ping -

John’s got his Dickens and William Wordsworth 
Likes his writers to be British old-school -
Charles is obsessed with politics in the newspapers 
Whacks the photo of another Liberal fool -

We blitz our cabinets with love and home-thoughts 
Position family photos and get-well cards - 
Some have an iPhone, an iPod and mini headphones 
The whole techno nine and a half yards -




















Jonathan has sent me a box of pliable earwax squares 
An Olympus Voice Recorder from Mary Ann -
Cathy has sent me an Irish author’s new book to read
And there’s spiral jotters from my sister Fran -

People come pouring out of the human woodwork
When your dicky heart’s in genuine danger -
I carry their talismans around with me for good luck
They’re my Tonto and I’m The Lone Ranger - 

It’s amazing how dependent on objects you become  
Defined by old habits and nonsensical stuff - 
But when your very life hangs in the medical balance 
No amount of love's ammunition is ever enough...


  DENNIS THE MENACE and GNASHER

There’s a beaming Polish Gent in Bed Number 12
Chipper as a breakfast platter full of kippers -
Each day he cartwheels left and slips gingerly into   
His Dennis The Menace & Gnasher slippers - 

“I’ve not had a bowel movement since Wednesday!”
He announces to all with odd European glee -
Then proceeds to flick through snaps on his Nokia   
Of his equally cute/contented posse of three - 

But his face truly explodes when his wife comes in  
And they proper giggle like two newly weds - 
Dangling his upbeat pair of personalised footwear
As they chinwag by the raised hospital beds -

Happily his lab-tests prove he’ll get away with stents 
And won’t need the wiry sawed-open chest -
I watch him hug his proud-as-punch wife and children  
Come visiting Daddy in their Sunday best...
























                         REMINDERS

There's a picture of our Dino with lovely Georgia
A special-needs girl who is now his friend -
He’s in a tailored-suit and she’s in a prom-dress
Eating cake on the grass at evening’s end -

It’s a thrill to think that each has found a love
A buddy to see them through this life -
And even though they’re so naive and vulnerable
They can share their confusion and strife -  

















You see our first-born is hand-flapping Autistic
He’s twenty-two but a child in his mind -
So any self-expression is proper gold dust for us
Pages, drawings and scribbles he’s signed -

Dean wrote me a homemade Father’s Day Card
Visited when my nerves were in tatters -
I now keep his heroic efforts on my bedside cabinet
To remind me of what really matters... 

(For our son, The Beautiful Dean)






















                        PISSING FOR ENGLAND

A highly animated gastroenterologist comes into the I.T.C.
Asking after Mr Barry and his marvellous bladder -
Apparently I’ve displaced an unheard of 23 litres of urine 
Pissing for England in an equally pleased catheter  -

You wake up and realise there’s lots of paraphernalia attached 
Plastic tubes are stuck in every available hole -
There’s four colour-coded electrodes connected to your heart 
And a length of wire buried like a fleshy mole - 

You blow out that copper line that seems over forty-foot long 
Looks like a sci-fi prop from The Matrix set -
Then they begin to kickstart the parts of your lithesome body 
They’ve properly violated and thoroughly upset -

























There’s a circular wad of tubing rammed up your flaccid willy
And every time your battered bladder opens it stings -
You feel like Golem coughing up all manner of odious phlegm 
With breath like an Ork in The Lord Of The Rings

They break open three suppositories up the crack of my arse
To help my bowels sonically connect with a toilet pan -
I’m down in X-Ray when I decorate the loo with sniffy piping 
Stretching from wee Bognor Regis to mainland Japan -


A nurse pulls the curtain round and tells me its time to extract  
The four wires that would have given my ticker a start -
But the yellow one gets stuck on the way out and she exclaims 
“I’ll just give this one a wee bit of a yank sweetheart!” 

A surgeon arrives in the evening looking genuinely Godlike  
Tells me the operation was a full-on success story -
Asks if I’m feeling better - I tell him - “I’m David Bowie Mate! 
Banging Aladdin Sane and ready for Hunky Dory!”

INDEX - Entries and Artist Posts in Alphabetical Order